So I started my day off being screamed at by the Ex…how much he hates me and what a fuckin’ bitch I am. I took his kids away from him to Oklahoma where there are NO jobs for him.. He knows because he called people, regardless of what I say to the contrary…. Sigh…
I honestly do not feel I deserve to be despised so, but it hurts none-the-less. Actually, that’s why it does hurt so much. In my honest (yet admittedly biased) evaluation of the past my only crime against this man is my inability to keep loving him in the face of a constant barrage of criticism, disrespect, unkindness, and the absence of love or affection… I tried… but I couldn’t keep on loving someone who so disliked and disrespected me in return… And that is what I believe is so unforgivable in his book… I stopped loving him. Not the kids and I moving… I’ve been the fucking bitch that he despised since I said I wanted a divorce.
I tell you this in preface to the point of my story…I went to church last Sunday… I know, you’re shocked. Get up off the floor… I do DO that occasionally… church… I like this one, the preacher is uplifting and besides I actually learned something that I’m going to SHARE with you!
Did you know that in Enterprise Alabama they have a monument giving tribute to a BUG? A Boll Weevil to be exact…The bug that in 1910-1915 endangered their lively hoods by destroying their cotton crops…
So why on Earth erect a monument to your tormenter you ask? Well because that amazing community decided to be flexible, to grow in the face of hardship and persecution… To bend when everyone would have understood if they broke… They started planting peanuts… And became WAY more prosperous than they ever were with cotton..
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| Monument in praise of the Boll Weevil |
So, here’s an example of the old cliché “What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger” in action. If we CHOOSE to let it I must add..Who’d a thunk it?
I find it hard to believe I’ll ever feel like erecting a monument to the Ex, or the Golf Pro either for that matter, but I do know that I am better off now. I’m ready for peanuts, my flexible idea, to arise… You know, the thing that’ll make me WANT to build a monument to them…
I challenge us to diversify like those Alabamans did… I know that some of you have pestilence, and persecutions far worse than mine, but I believe that we are strong enough to bend. I believe that we have in us the strength of heart to outsmart, outlast, and outlove whatever challenges arise.
Richard Bach says in Illusions “There is no such thing as a problem without a gift in its hands for you. You seek problems because you need their gifts”.
Hmmm…. Maybe… I don’t know about you, but I am ready to quit seeking those kinds of gifts…
I am off for a lunch date with a guy from the personal ads… He is not my type and I’m not at all interested in him, but Rori says they are all messengers and practice. So I’m going to practice… and will eventually write about the online dating stuff… I promise… But I gotta feel it to write it and I’m on a fine line these days with the “feelin” it…
Angels on your bodies
Prairie Girl
** See my 2nd post to your blog below **
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you are getting something out of going to church! lol Sometimes answers come as whispers, sometimes they come as shouts! But as long as you're listening they'll be heard.
Now...You that has lived in the land of snakes, scorpions, spiders and "evil" men, can handle a few bugs! You just have to find the right repellent! lol Have you ever considered that YOU are the gift these other people received? You showed them how to love, nurture and care. Whether or not they learned the lessons or appreciated this gift is their problem! You've given it to them! Hang in there, you will persever!
BTW...Please be careful my friend with the online dating, I don't want any bad news!!
I loved my phone call and we'll do it again soon. Plus, once I'm healed enough to drive a long distance, I'll be hitting the road to Oklahoma. Just let them cowboys know that I've wrestled a few in my time so they better watch out! lol But...if you see Sam, hog tie him til I get there! Love You Much
I love talking to you too... I miss you.
ReplyDeleteI am careful... but it did cause me to have a mental break.. I'll post about it..
You do know the newspaper ads is how I met the Ex don't you? True Story..lol
I can't wait until you come see me.
No I didn't know about the EX and newspaper ad! Maybe you should take a lesson from that too! lol
ReplyDeleteI graduated from Enterprise High School in 1977. Did you know the monument gets stolen on occasion? Homecoming pranks and such. LOL
ReplyDelete